What Do Others See in You? Finding Career Direction Through Hidden Strengths

My friend Kelly spent more than 20 years working in banking. When she was young, banking seemed like a cool place to work, where she could dress nicely every day. Once she was actually doing it, though, she discovered it wasn’t really her. It included a sales component, like encouraging clients to sign up for products such as credit cards, and the environment could be competitive. Kelly isn’t a competitive person.

Still, the job served an important purpose. It was steady, provided a decent second income for her family, and helped pay for things for her children. Her heart may not have been in banking, but the job had value in her life.

When the Job That Pays the Bills Lasts for Decades

In career development, we sometimes talk about “survival jobs,” work that pays the bills while someone searches for something better. We often imagine these as temporary stops. Kelly’s story makes me think about that differently. Sometimes the work that pays the bills lasts for decades. Sometimes no dream career is waiting in the wings. We simply know that what we’re doing isn’t quite right.

After 20 years in banking, company changes prompted Kelly to wonder what to do next. She tried several jobs, but nothing felt right. She didn’t have a long-held dream career to pursue, but clues were beginning to appear.

Through a personal connection, she began providing respite care for a child with special needs. It was part-time work, but she found it satisfying. She had also spent years welcoming exchange students into her family’s home. Kelly didn’t see these experiences as pointing toward a career. They were simply things she had done.

As career practitioners, this is worth noting. When someone doesn’t know what they want to do next, their employment history may not contain all the answers. Sometimes important clues are hiding in the rest of their life.

Someone Else Connected the Dots

Someone else saw Kelly’s clues before she did. A friend who worked as a school secretary had previously suggested that Kelly consider the same occupation. Kelly wasn’t interested. Sitting in front of a computer all day didn’t appeal to her.

Later, an opportunity arose for a role that was essentially a classroom helper. Her friend encouraged her to apply. She pointed out that Kelly was good with kids and that her respite work and experience hosting exchange students belonged on her résumé.

Working in a classroom had never occurred to Kelly. She applied anyway. For the first time in her working life, she discovered what it was like to love her job.

After three years helping in the classroom, Kelly had the opportunity to become a certified educational assistant. Today, she works as an EA and wishes she had discovered this work sooner.

What she loves most is making connections with the kids. She knows some may be dealing with stressful situations at home, while others may find school itself stressful. She hopes to be a positive presence in their day.

When Your Strengths Find the Right Environment

Patience and kindness didn’t suddenly appear when Kelly walked into a classroom. They were qualities she had all along. They just hadn’t seemed particularly relevant to her career before.

In banking, Kelly felt professionalism and performance mattered most. Kindness wasn’t something she thought of as a workplace strength. In the classroom, kindness and patience have become some of her greatest assets.

It makes me wonder how often people believe they haven’t found their strengths when perhaps they simply haven’t found an environment where those strengths matter.

As career practitioners, we naturally ask about employment history, education, skills, interests and accomplishments. But a person’s life outside paid employment contains career information too.

Who do they naturally connect with? What do people ask them for help with? What responsibilities have they taken on because someone needed them? What comes so naturally that they don’t even think of it as a skill?

What Do the People Around Us See?

And perhaps there’s another question worth asking: What do the people who know you well see in you?

Other people may notice patterns we’ve overlooked because those qualities feel ordinary to us. Kelly wasn’t thinking about the career implications of welcoming exchange students into her home. She was just being Kelly. Her friend connected the dots.

Of course, other people don’t get to choose our careers. The first suggestion Kelly received—school secretary—wasn’t right for her. But when another opportunity appeared that better matched her strengths, she was willing to explore it.

Career development isn’t always about uncovering a passion we’ve secretly carried for years. Sometimes we don’t know what we’re looking for until we encounter it.

And sometimes another person sees the possibility before we do.

– By Shauna Specht –

This article was edited with the support of ChatGPT (developed by OpenAI). The ideas and insights shared are entirely the author’s own. 

Image generated with ChatGPT.